The upcoming conclave to determine who will be the next Pope allows me to indulge in two of my favourite activities – betting and wild prophecies.

Somewhere at the back of mind, I thought I remembered a prophecy that said if a black pope was elected, that would signal the end of the world. However, having done some brief searching on the internet (and having definitively ruled out my main candidate – the Secrets of Fatima) I can’t actually find proof of this. I have heard mutterings that Nostradamus was the man who made this prediction but again can’t confirm this.

Far more interesting and (potentially lucrative) are the prophecies of our own St Malachy. Apparently he was given a vision of all the popes from his own time (1143) to the end of the papacy – some 112 popes in all. You can see a good review of Malachy’s papal prophecies here but for our purposes the crucial fact is that the next pope will be “Gloria Olivae”, The Glory of the Olives.

After exhaustive research I can now confirm that this could only refer to Cardinal Jean-Marie Lustiger. Cardinal Lustiger was born of Jewish descent and Jews are identified with Olives (Mount of Olives=Jerusalem). In addition the rumour goes that he was once rector of an Olivetan school (the Olivetans are a branch of the Benedictines).

(It has been asserted that “the glory of the Olives” could equally apply to Cardinal Martini, the Archbishop of Milan but this is flippant dissembling to divert the unwary).

As for actually placing a bet on the identity of the next Pope, the only site I can find which is currently taking votes is PaddyPower.com. Sadly, this very morning they removed their 1000-1 option of Fr Doughal from Craggy Island. (If you don’t believe me see the original BBC story.)

Anyway I fancy £20 on Lustiger at 20-1.

*** Stoppress ***
New psychic material delivered overnight has pointed the finger at Cardinal Antonelli. Antonelli has links with Umbria and one of Umbria’s finest winemakers is – Antonelli. The winemaker Antonelli (and they may well be related) has a very nice wine museum (which Lisa and I have visited) but also do a very nice line in olive oils. Therefore, Malachy was clearly referring to Antonelli when he said “Gloria Olivae” and I hereby slap my £20 on him at 14-1 (latest odds from Paddypower.com).