On my way to work this morning I was mulling over Schrodinger’s Cat and the psi-function. These topics are much beloved of our freaky friends because the idea of creating a field of uncertainty could provide an explanation for paranormal phenomena. The trick here is that if I create ambiguity on a macro level by opening up many different possibilities and by decreasing the current probablities (in practical terms, I could dim the lights, play spooky music, or otherwise the stifle the body’s usual perception modes) I can maybe increase the possibility of “psychic” occurrences. Switch the light back on and the wave function collapses (and let’s hope the ghost disappears or your reality has just been permanently changed). I quite like this notion and, taken a little bit further, I can envisage a world where you have skilled “reality technicians” who could surf the wave of uncertainty and, like skilled lumberjacks, cause reality to fall in a particular way (ensuring their version of reality) or simply keep the wave uncollapsed to again suit their purpose. Being slightly more glib (although in a subtle way this might also be true), in our current world the spindoctors and media moguls could be the reality technicians. My current favourite in this vein is the fact that now almost as many American soldiers have been killed by “Saddam loyalists” after May 1 (supposed victory) as were killed in the “war” itself. But I digress. Our man Andrew has proposed a system of time travel that essentially says: I vow to leave the sports section of the newspaper in a certain place this day next week. Because I actually am going to do this, if I go to that place now, the paper will be there. And I can get fabulously wealthy because now I know the result of the 2:20 at Sandown next week. In a certain way this has similarities with the Cat above in the sense that the future state creates the uncertainty. Can I therefore use the future to manipulate the present (in a Doc Brown kind of way)? Anyway this all led me to a brilliant and commercially lucrative idea: a plug-in for emails that would allow me send an email to, say, John (coz he posts blogs occasionally) but he wouldn’t be able to open it until a certain date specified by me. Neat, eh? You could use it for birthdays, predictions, fuck-off emails that could only be read *after* you’ve left the company. The possibilities are endless. From the management point of view you could put all emails through such a filter that would mean that personal emails could only be read after work hours (you can see my recent, prolonged exposure to the master has had lasting effects). Now who can write Outlook plug-ins? If we really mean to do it maybe the money will already be in our bank accounts.